Each year, as the mad dash to Christmas slows to a halt, store owners turn off their lights, and society takes a deep breath of relief, we enter a collective slumber to recover from the dizzying holiday trapeze.

For many of us, it’s been a busy few weeks. Or perhaps, busy few months.

Countless tasks. Demands on time, resources, and most of all, energy.

Looking back, it’s been an eventful year for our family. But in many ways, it was also a challenging one. Making the jump to self employment and wading into the deep end of starting a business took a toll on our family’s finances.

So, this Christmas was a lean Christmas for our household–though you’d never know it by the fervor on my kids’ faces.

Aunties, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and close friends graciously bestowed my children with gifts. They weren’t lacking in the least.

Yet, I harbored a tinge of guilt. As someone who loves to give, I regretted that I couldn’t afford to ‘spread Christmas cheer’ this year. It was both humbling and vexing.

Christmas and the holidays in general are often associated with overflowing abundance. But  they could also be acute reminders of scarcity in our lives–both with time and money.

I wondered, “Why do the holidays induce us to spend like so? And why do we work ourselves into such a frenzy only to crash from the weight of utter fatigue?”

I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until these past two days when I slept, slept, and slept some more.

I tried to savor sweet moments of much needed rest while basking in the pause and permission to do utterly nothing.

And in the midst of repose, when that menacing tug to be productive crept in–appended by a pestering sense of guilt–I resisted.

Marveling at the hoopla of festivities posted by friends and families on social media–the ravishing spreads of food and walls of smartly wrapped presents–I realized we go to great lengths simply to love, share, and be with one another. Regardless of our circumstances.

Today, our family escaped the hubbub to go on a hike and get a breath of fresh air. The woods were surprisingly quiet as hibernating animals were nowhere to be seen. Our souls were calm and at peace.

And for a few hours on this Christmas day, all was well.